How to choose godparents for a boy. How are godparents chosen for a child? Who shouldn't be a godfather? What godparents should have during christenings
Orthodox believers know about the seven Christian sacraments, one of which is baptism. The teaching says that every Orthodox Christian needs to be baptized in order to save his soul and gain the Kingdom of Heaven after physical death. God's grace descends on those who are baptized, but there are also difficulties - everyone who accepts the ritual becomes a warrior of God's army, and the forces of evil fall upon him. To avoid misfortunes, you need to wear a cross.
The day of baptism is very important for a believer - it is like the day of his second birth. This event must be approached with full responsibility. Let's talk about what the baby needs to perform the sacrament, what to buy and take with him, what godparents should do, how to celebrate this holiday at home.If the godparents (godparents) take on part of the responsibility for organizing the ceremony, this will be correct. Preparations for the holiday are carried out by all its participants, especially the baby’s relatives.
It is believed that wearing a pectoral cross protects a person from the forces of evil, and also strengthens his spirit and directs him to the true path. The appearance or cost of the material of the cross does not matter at all - as long as the cross is Orthodox and not paganWhen is the best time to baptize a baby?
According to custom, the baby is baptized on the 8th or 40th day after birth. There are circumstances that can affect the timing of the baptism of an infant: if the baby is sick, the illness poses a threat to life, you can baptize him earlier. Orthodoxy says that after christening a person has a guardian angel who is always behind his right shoulder. He will protect the baby and can save him. It is believed that the more prayers addressed to an angel, the stronger he will be.
Some people prefer to wait until the little man grows up and becomes stronger. The other side of the coin is that while the child is an infant, he sleeps in the arms of his godmother and calmly endures the sacrament. The older he gets, the more difficult it is for him to serve quietly. At 2 years old, the baby is spinning, wants to run, go outside. This creates difficulties for the priest and godparents, because the action can last more than an hour. Bathing a baby in the font is also easier.
The first thing mom and dad do before the sacrament is choose a spiritual name for the baby. In our country, a tradition has developed of calling a baby in the world a name other than the one given to him at baptism in the church - this is a custom justified in Orthodoxy, since it is believed that church name Only the mother and father, the priest and the successors can know.
Then the little man will be more protected from life’s adversities. In the church, you can agree that the baby is named after the saint on whose day the baby’s birth date falls.
Recommendations for preparing for the baptism ceremony of a small child
How to organize a child's christening? You need to visit the temple where the procedure will take place. In the church shop you can ask any questions you may have. The church minister in the shop will offer you to read a brochure about baptism, which describes all the rules. The date of birth of your baby will be written down, and the desired church name of the baby and the names of his godparents will be asked. For the ceremony, a voluntary payment is made in the form of a donation, which goes to the needs of the temple. How much should I pay? The amount of donation may vary from church to church.
Before the sacrament of baptism, godparents are required to go for an interview with the priest. If the baby’s mother and father come along with them and take part in the conversation, this will only be a plus. The priest will tell you how the baptism of a young child is performed, and what you need to take with you. He will definitely ask during the conversation whether the mother and father and the baby’s adoptive parents are baptized. If not, then the unbaptized should be baptized before the sacrament is performed on the baby. During the conversation, the priest will give recommendations to the baby’s family and set a day and time for the child’s baptism. On this day, you should arrive early in order to have time to get your bearings and prepare. Many parents invite a photographer to their child’s christening and take photos and videos. You need to know that to record videos and take photographs, you must ask permission and blessings from the priest.
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Who to choose as godparents?
Usually, godparents are people of the same sex as the baby: for girls it is a woman, for boys it is a man. You can invite two godparents of different genders. Then the baby will have a spiritual father and mother.
The question of who is worthy to become your baby's godfather is very important. Godparents become the baby's second parents. Think about who treats the little man better, who is ready to bear responsibility for him, give him a spiritual example, and pray for him? Most often, relatives and family friends become recipients.
It is best if a person who is deeply religious, knowledgeable, and observant becomes a godparent. church traditions and laws. This person should often visit your home, since he is responsible for the upbringing of the little man, primarily spiritual. He will be next to your baby all his life.
You can choose your mother’s or father’s sister or brother, a close friend or family friend, or the baby’s grandmother or grandfather as your godfather.
The recipients must be baptized themselves - this must be done in advance. Parents need to understand that the issue of choosing godparents must be approached very seriously.
Who can't become a godfather?
The laws of baptism in the Orthodox Church are such that the following cannot become a godparent:
- atheists or non-believers;
- monks and nuns;
- mentally ill people;
- children under 15 years of age;
- drug addicts and alcoholics;
- promiscuous women and men;
- spouses or sexually close people;
- baby's parents.
Brother and sister cannot be godparents to each other. If you are baptizing twins, you must not do it on the same day. Twins may well have the same godparents.
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Memo for godparents
- Appearance. The baby's adoptive parents must come to church with their crosses around their necks. If it is a woman, she wears a skirt that is below the knee and a jacket with sleeves to the temple. A headdress is required for the godmother. The rules for being in church also apply to a man’s clothing: you cannot expose your knees and shoulders, that is, even in hot weather you will have to give up shorts and a T-shirt. A man is in the temple with his head uncovered.
- Purchases and payment. People often ask, who should buy a cross for a child’s baptism? Who pays for the procedure? There is a certain procedure for baptizing a newborn child and preparing for it.
- It assumes that the godfather buys a cross for the godson and also pays for the baptism. The godmother buys a cross for her goddaughter. It is best to choose a cross made of ordinary metal or silver. It is not customary to use a golden cross at a ceremony. When choosing a cross, make sure that it cannot injure the baby; let the cross have oval edges.
- In addition to the godmother's cross, you need to buy a towel, baptismal shirt and sheet in advance. She buys kryzhma - the material in which the baby is baptized. Caring mothers keep the material for many years, as it helps to cure the child from illness. The sick little man is wrapped in kryzhma, and he begins to get better. It should be stored in a place hidden from prying eyes, since it is believed that through it it can be used to damage the baby.
- Preparation. People appointed as spiritual parents are obliged to prepare themselves for the baptism ceremony of a small child. Preparation includes strict fasting, starting a few days before the event, and refusal of entertainment and pleasure. The day before, it’s a good idea to take communion in church, before going to confession. You must take your child's birth certificate with you to church. You can watch the video of the baptism in advance to roughly understand the sequence of events.
- Prayer. Recipients are required to learn the “Creed” prayer. This prayer is read by the priest three times during the sacrament of baptism of the child; the godfather may also be asked to read it by heart.
Nuances of christening
- A little man can be baptized on any day of the week - on holidays and weekdays, on Lent and on an ordinary day, but most often christenings take place on Saturday.
- The foster children are supposed to pick up the child from the parents in advance and go with him to church on the appointed day and time. Their parents follow them. There is a sign that the godfather should chew a clove of garlic and breathe in the baby’s face. In this way, evil forces are driven away from the baby.
- Only the closest people are present at the ceremony in the temple - the parents of the boy or girl receiving the sacrament, maybe grandparents. The rest can come to the house of the baptized person after the ceremony and celebrate this event at the festive table.
- Baptism of an infant does not always take place in the church itself. Sometimes the priest conducts the ceremony in a specially designated room.
- If necessary, parents can arrange a ceremony at home or in the maternity hospital. To do this, you need to come to an agreement with the priest and pay all his expenses for organizing the sacrament.
- The priest reads prayers and anoints the newborn. Then he cuts a lock of hair from his head, as if making a sacrifice to God. Then the baby is lowered into the font three times, the priest says: “Here is the cross, my daughter (my son), carry it.” Together with the priest, the godfather says: “Amen.”
- The child's parents also come to church, observing Orthodox customs. They dress as is customary in the temple. During the ceremony, the mother can pray for her child. Such prayers will surely be answered.
- In the evening, relatives and friends come to the holiday with gifts. Their choice depends on wealth and imagination: toys or clothes, baby care items or an icon of the baby’s patron saint.
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Features of christenings for boys and girls
The christening of a girl and a boy differs little. During the ritual, the godfather carries the male child behind the altar, but the godmother does not carry the female child there. The christening of a newborn girl requires the presence of a headdress, that is, a headscarf is put on her. When are christenings performed? little boy, he is in the temple without a headdress.
If both godparents participate in the ritual, then first the godmother holds the boy, and after bathing in the font, the godfather picks him up and carries him to the altar. The girl is held in her arms only by her godmother. This is the main difference in the ritual for children of the opposite sex.
If the procedure for baptizing a small child is followed, the child’s blood and spiritual parents will prepare for christening, and the child will grow up healthy and cheerful. When he grows up, he will become a highly spiritual person striving for a righteous life.
Clinical and perinatal psychologist, graduated from the Moscow Institute of Perinatal Psychology and Reproductive Psychology and Volgograd State Medical University with a degree in clinical psychology
The baptism of a child is an important event for parents. Therefore, you need to prepare for it in advance. How exactly, a priest, cleric of the Church of the Annunciation told MIR 24 readers Holy Mother of God in Petrovsky Park in Moscow Dmitry Nikolaev.
- Father Dmitry, please tell us how baptism occurs and what it is the main point?
Baptism is the first church sacrament encountered by a person intending to live a spiritual life. Its meaning is that a person takes the first step into this life and becomes a member of the Church. This sacrament is performed only once in a lifetime.
Our Lord, Jesus Christ, ascending to the Father after his Resurrection, commanded the apostles to teach people everything that he taught them. And including, baptizing people in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
During the process of the sacrament, the rite of naming is performed on a person, preparatory prayers and prayers are read, containing a prohibition for the devil to have power over this person. Because as a result of the fall of one of the very first and most beautiful angels that once happened, and the subsequent war in spiritual world Satan, bound and far from omnipotent, nevertheless constantly rebels against those who strive for God and hinders them with all possible forces and means. Therefore, before being united with Christ, we drive Satan away from ourselves and renounce him.
The water is also blessed. A person is anointed with blessed oil and baptized in water in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. The grace of God descends on a person, all his sins that he committed in his life remain in the font, and he goes out into the world as a renewed, newly born spiritual baby. His spiritual eyes open, he sees the world differently and feels differently. That is, a person is given a unique chance to start life anew.
During baptism, a person is also given a Guardian Angel, who accompanies him on all paths. The angel will rejoice for his ward in goodness and suffer from his every evil step or intention.
The person being baptized puts on clean clothes, and then the second sacrament, also possible only once in his life, is performed—confirmation. There is a well-known expression: “we are smeared with the same world.” But many people don’t even know what it means. And it says that we were baptized in the same Church and were anointed from the same vessel, and we are actually family people.
In the sacrament of anointing a person is given the seal of the Holy Spirit on all his senses. These are a kind of locks that Satan cannot pass through. During baptism, he is expelled and cannot pass through these seals until the person himself opens it to him, as the kids did to the gray wolf.
Done procession around the font, the Holy Scriptures are read. Then the Holy Chrism is washed off with a special sponge and the rite of hair cutting is performed - a small strand is cut from the head in a cross shape, as a symbol of sacrifice and obedience.
In order to become more familiar with the rites of the sacrament of baptism, to begin to understand the deep meanings behind external actions, you need to at least become a participant in public conversations, which should be attended by both parents, godparents, and the person himself who is preparing for baptism, if he adult. Self-education and reading specialized literature will never hurt.
- How to choose godparents?
Parents must take their choice of godfather or godmother seriously. Sometimes two godparents are chosen, but this is simply a pious Russian tradition, stemming from the idea that a child should have both a mother and a father. In principle, one godfather or godmother is quite enough. But definitely of the same sex as the child, because a boy is raised by a man, and a girl by a woman. The main task of the godfather is to pray for his godson and take care of his Christian upbringing.
Very often, parents choose godparents simply out of friendship. They themselves go to church once a year and call the same godparent. But you need to understand that the godfather must have something to give the child in terms of his spiritual development. Simply put, you need a specialist. When parents look for teachers for their child, they choose them not for friendship, but for professional qualities. The same must be done here.
- Is it possible to choose as godparents those who do not live in the same city as the godson?
Why not? Quite possible! We live in the 21st century, we have such means of communication that we can live even on another planet, and at the same time maintain contact with those who are dear to us all the time. And if a godfather raises his godson, even living in another city, then everything is fine. But seeing each other every day, even living nearby, is still unrealistic. So it doesn’t matter how far away the godfather lives, but it must be a person with whom the child has an open spiritual friendship.
- How should parents and godparents prepare for the baptism of a child?
Baptism is a universal event! A person is born into Eternal Life! This is a holiday, and, of course, we need to prepare for it. And not so much to set tables for relatives, but to cook for ourselves.
The first responsibility of parents and godparents is to raise their children in the Christian faith. If they do not know anything about their faith, then before baptism, public conversations are held for them, which I have already mentioned. There are at least two conversations, they are conducted by a priest, deacon or a person specially trained for this - a catechist.
At these conversations, parents learn who God is, what the Church is and in whom we believe. Because it is very important to know the basics of our spiritual life. We must understand where we are going ourselves and where we are sending our child. After all, even when parents send their child to a club or section, they find out everything about it. Moreover, when someone enters educational institution. After all, he is preparing for this, taking exams. It’s the same here: you need to have a clear idea of where you are entering.
Before baptism, parents and godparents should go to church, cleanse their souls in confession, and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ.
There are exceptions: for example, a mother cannot participate in the sacraments for 40 days after giving birth. She goes through a period of physiological cleansing and does not begin the sacraments - neither confession nor communion. If parents definitely want to baptize their child during this period, then we allow the mother to be present at the baptism, but nothing more. If these 40 days have already passed after giving birth, then the priest reads prayers of permission over her, and she can confess and receive communion. Before baptism, godparents need to do everything the same as parents.
Godparents for a child are in a sense more important than blood parents, because spiritual kinship is higher than blood. When choosing godparents, it is important to consider that godparents of the same child cannot be husband and wife, groom and bride.
And one more important limitation. If, for example, a single mother baptizes her son, then she cannot have any personal, close relationship with this child’s godfather. If this does arise, this situation is absurd and will not lead to anything good.
- Can a priest refuse to baptize a child?
Sometimes situations like this happen. It is important that the child's parents are legally married. Because if parents live in an adulterous union, which is now called a civil marriage, then the child will suffer from this. What is the point of baptizing him, giving him to Christ, if the parents themselves live in mortal sin? It turns out that with one hand we give the child into the hands of Christ, and with the other we crucify Christ.
If the marriage of parents is not sanctified by the Church, but is witnessed before people and the state, whose laws we recognize, then the Church recognizes such a marriage, in the hope that this couple, who testified before people that they are husband and wife, will subsequently come to understand the necessity of a wedding . Why do we admit it? Because the notorious stamp in the passport obliges them to bear responsibility for their union.
And if this is not the case, then today they like each other, but the day after tomorrow they don’t like each other and run away. Everyone suffers. Both themselves and the children. And a woman who foolishly trusted, who does not know the commandments of God, who has no rights, since marriage as such does not exist, sometimes ends up on the street, and even with a child.
Before the revolution, there were no registry offices, and all marriages were registered in the church. There were no problems with stamps or other discrepancies. Now the situation is different.
- Is it possible to baptize a child if the parents themselves are not baptized?
You need to talk to such parents. Why baptize a child if the parents themselves are not at all interested in God, the creator of the universe? What's the point? This is not a shamanic ritual that needs to be performed so that the child does not get sick. Or is it just the way it is? If they are unbaptized, but they have a sincere desire to baptize a child, then it would be better for them to be baptized all together. We baptize our parents according to faith, but if there is no faith at all, then it will turn out to be profanation. Yes, of course, I feel sorry for the children. We want them to be baptized. But this is somewhat absurd. We don’t say: my wife and I are Orthodox, but we want to send our child to Buddhism! And this is essentially the same thing.
We are baptized in order to become one with Christ! And this means being crucified with him, and dying, and being resurrected! What can a child feel if his parents are absolutely unbelievers? How will he be raised in the faith?
In general, the situation is some kind of theoretical, fictitious. In any case, I have not encountered this in my practice.
If it so happens that one of the parents is not baptized, but the other goes to church and wants to baptize the child, then, of course, you need to come and baptize. In general, there is a rule that if Orthodox man enters into marriage with a non-believer or a non-believer, then this marriage is permitted provided that children are raised in Orthodox faith.
- What do you need to prepare for baptism?
Parents must prepare a cross, a marriage certificate, a child's birth certificate, a baptismal shirt and a towel for baptism. If the child is already older, then slippers are needed so that he walks in them to the font and, when leaving it, does not end up barefoot.
- Who can be invited to baptism, can unbaptized relatives and friends come?
Anyone can come to baptism! Sharing the joy of a new member joining the Church is very good and right. It’s good to take a photographer or cinematographer with you to capture the joyful moment. It is not forbidden to remove baptism. Then you can watch this recording again at home and rejoice once again.
- How should an adult prepare for the sacrament?
A person who decides to be baptized as an adult must want to understand where he has come. He also goes to public talks. These conversations are the same for everyone: those who want to be baptized, parents of babies, and godparents come to them. And like everyone who participates in these conversations, he must read the Gospel and be sure to examine the Creed. This is a fundamental document developed during the first two Ecumenical Councils back in the 4th century. In it, in 12 sentences, all the main postulates of our faith are formulated.
It is impossible for him to confess before the sacrament, since he is not yet a baptized person. But it would be very good for him to talk with the priest immediately before Baptism or the day before. Such a conversation is similar to confession: he must tell the priest the same thing that he would say in confession in order to cleanse his soul. The Lord still looks at it and hears it all. And when a person is baptized, he becomes like a clean baby, and all his past life, all his mistakes and sins are forgiven him freely. In the future, a person no longer needs to confess to them.
- Do adults need godparents? Who can he invite to baptism?
No, an adult no longer needs godparents. And he can invite anyone to baptism: friends and relatives, all the people close to him with whom he wants to share this joy.
- What should change after baptism in the lives of those who were baptized and their loved ones?
A man came to church. Churching must begin in his life. Previously, he lived without this, but now a person participates in the sacraments, attends church services, reads the Gospel at home and prays. Because he became a member of the Church and it is interesting and dear to him, and for this he is ready to give his life. Anyone who wants to be baptized should have this attitude.
He is like a man who wants to get married because he loves his chosen one, wants to see her all the time and cannot live without her. The same is true for a man who wants to be baptized. He can no longer live without Christ, so he goes and is baptized. And from that day on he becomes a faithful and steadfast warrior of Christ.
Photo: From the archive of priest Dmitry Nikolaev
It is one of the most important in the days preceding the performance of this great sacrament. The path of spiritual growth that he has to go through largely depends on how successful the choice of the child’s parents is. Therefore, we will try to fully understand this issue and, if possible, avoid mistakes.
When should a baby be baptized?
The first and most important event in the life of a newborn is the rite of holy baptism. There is no strictly established rule regarding how many days after the baby is born it should be performed. But taking into account the spiritual significance of the sacrament, it is recommended not to postpone it for a long time without serious reasons, and to try to have the sacrament performed in the first year of the child’s life.
Both in the process of performing the ritual and in the further spiritual life of the newly baptized important role played by the godparents assigned to him, who take upon themselves the responsibility of raising him in the spirit of Orthodoxy. That is why important The question arises of how to choose godparents for a child, so that in the future they can fully fulfill the mission entrusted to them.
Who can't be one of the godparents?
It should be noted that there are certain restrictions when appointing godparents. First of all, the parents of the child themselves and, in addition, persons who are related, cannot play this role. Also church rules It is forbidden to entrust this to people who are married to each other or intend to enter into it after some time. The reason here is quite obvious. - these are people who are in a spiritual relationship, and physical intimacy between them is unacceptable.
Continuing the conversation about how godparents are chosen for a child, it is necessary to emphasize that they cannot be all kinds of people of other faiths, including even Christians of other denominations (Catholics, Protestants, Lutherans, etc.). And, of course, this should not be trusted to people who are not believers at all or who declare their faith, but are not baptized and do not attend church.
As for the age restrictions imposed on possible candidates, girls can be godparents from the age of thirteen, and boys from the age of fifteen. It is believed that, subject to correct and proper religious education at this age, they are already able to understand the responsibility entrusted to them and, over time, become their godson.
And finally, from the number of possible candidates, persons suffering from mental illness should be excluded, since they cannot be held responsible for their actions, and those who lead an immoral (from the church and universal point of view) lifestyle. Monks and nuns also cannot be godparents.
Who should you choose?
However, the question of how godparents are chosen for a child is not limited to just the list of those who are not suitable for this role. Something else is much more important. You should know who can be chosen as godparents for a child, and in this regard there are no clearly defined boundaries, but only recommendations based on the life experience of previous generations of Orthodox Christians.
Before you choose someone, you should first of all think about whether they will pray all their lives for their godson or goddaughter, because this is precisely one of their main responsibilities. This is especially important in the first years after baptism, since the child is still small and cannot turn to the Creator in prayer. In addition, it is generally accepted that the prayer of those who received the baby from the holy font has a special power of grace and is heard.
Any relative of the child can become a godson, regardless of a friend of his parents or simply someone they know and respect. But at the same time, it is necessary, first of all, to be guided by whether the chosen one will be a good adviser and a good spiritual educator of the child.
In order to more fully understand how godparents are chosen for a child, it is necessary to outline the range of responsibilities that are assigned to each of them. This will help to avoid in the future many griefs and disappointments associated with haste and ill-conceived decisions.
According to existing tradition, godparents must go to church a day or two before the sacrament and confess and receive communion there in order to remove the burden of earthly sins that could interfere with the establishment of spiritual unity with the godson. Directly on the day of baptism, they impose a voluntary fast on themselves, excluding both eating and performing marital duties.
During the sacrament, the “Creed” is read, and if the ritual is performed over a girl, then the godmother reads the prayer, and if over a boy, then the godfather. In this regard, it is important to prepare carefully, memorize the text and ask the priest in advance when to read the prayer and how.
Choosing the right godparents for a child is extremely important in relation to the help that is expected from them during the ceremony itself. And first of all, this applies to the godmother. She, among other things, must take care of the gift for the child, and various things necessary for the sacrament, such as a baptismal shirt, a towel and, of course, pectoral cross, which will be put on him. By the way, it should be noted that during the sacrament her presence is necessary, while the godfather can only participate in it in absentia.
Psychological aspect of choosing a godmother
It is also very important to take into account that after washing in the font, the child is picked up by his godmother, and care must be taken to ensure that this does not cause stress for the baby. It is highly desirable that the candidate for this role has held him in her arms before, and he is familiar with her features. The same can be said about the godfather. In the entire range of issues related to how godparents are chosen for a child, this occupies one of the main places.
Responsibility for the subsequent spiritual life of the child
According to church teaching, the child’s connection with those who received him from the holy font is considered even closer than with the real parents who gave him life. They will have to answer for him at the Last Judgment, and therefore it is their duty to constantly take care of the spiritual growth of their godson.
This side of their responsibilities to him and to the church includes not only conversations on religious topics that can expand the godson’s knowledge of Orthodoxy, but also introducing the child to attending church and participating in divine services. Moreover, in order to achieve the best result, godparents must steadily improve their own spirituality and be a living and convincing example for the child.
Replacement of faith with ritual belief
It is very unfortunate that today the true Christian faith is often replaced by the so-called ritual faith. Leaving aside the foundations of the teachings of Jesus Christ, who preached humanism, sacrifice in the name of one’s neighbor and repentance as the means of acquiring the Kingdom of God, people hope to receive immediate earthly blessings by performing certain ritual actions.
If such naivety was excusable to the ancient pagans due to their ignorance, now, when the Lord has given us holy gospel, we can only regret those who, when asked why they baptize a child, without thinking, answer: “So that he doesn’t get sick.” And it's all! Not a word about the fact that they desire his unity in the Spirit of God with the Creator of the Universe and the possibility of his inheriting Eternal Life.
How to choose godparents for a child if the parents are non-believers?
In addition, in recent years it has become fashionable, and they are often carried to the holy font by unbelieving parents, doing this only in order to keep up with others. Despite this, the church welcomes the baptism of a newborn, regardless of the reasons that guided his parents, although he wishes them to take a more responsible approach to the holy sacrament, which is the spiritual birth of their little person.
That is why the question of how to choose godparents for a child acquires special importance, because it is they who, with their religiosity, can make up for what the real father and mother are not able to give. His decision cannot contain any general advice, since in each case it is individual and depends on the environment of relatives and friends in which the young parents live. It is among these people that one should look for those who, with their faith, are able to help a child take the path of spiritual growth.
A question born of superstition
Sometimes you hear a rather strange question about how to choose godparents for a child and, in general, is it possible to perform this sacrament in a year that has February 29 in its calendar? This question is strange primarily because, according to the clergy themselves, in the Orthodox Church there is no such thing as leap year, and therefore, there are no restrictions associated with it, be it weddings, christenings or other sacraments. The popular belief that it brings misfortune is the fruit of superstition and empty speculation. Believers should have in themselves only the fear of God and hope in His mercy, and not the fear of some signs.
How to choose the right godparents for a child, and who cannot become a godfather? What requirements does the Orthodox Church place on them, and what do godparents need to know before the ceremony? How not to make a mistake when choosing spiritual mentors for a child? Let's figure it out.
Baptism is not an ordinary tradition passed down through the centuries. This is a sacrament, a special rite that marks the second, spiritual birth of a person. It is believed that grace descends on the one who receives baptism, and from that moment on, the Christian gains a guardian angel, under whose protection he will be for the rest of his life.
Who are godparents?
Baptism, like other Orthodox rites, requires compliance with certain rules, the main one of which is the choice of godparents. Many people try in infancy. Usually the ceremony is carried out after 40 days have passed since birth, but for sick or weak babies the church makes an exception and allows them to be baptized at any time.
Only those who have turned 18 years old can undergo the sacrament of baptism without godparents; this is not prohibited by the church. But for children under this age they are required. Godparents become the child’s spiritual mentors, taking upon themselves the obligation to be close to the godson and support him throughout his life. If the blood parents pass away, it is the godparents who must take responsibility and care for the child. How to choose correctly those who can be entrusted with such serious responsibilities?
Baptism of a child: who cannot be appointed godparent
When choosing from friends or relatives who will accept this honorable duty, it is necessary to take into account the rules adopted Orthodox Church, which do not allow everyone to participate in the baptismal ceremony.
- There is a decree of the Holy Synod, according to which a girl over 13 years old can become a godmother, and a young man who is 15 years old can become a godmother.
- Spouses cannot become godfathers and godmothers.
- Such responsibilities cannot be delegated to non-believers or people of other faiths.
- It is unacceptable for those leading an unrighteous lifestyle to become godparents: alcoholics, drug addicts, riotous women, insane individuals.
- Real parents cannot act as godparents.
- By folk beliefs They do not take pregnant women as godmothers, although the Orthodox canons do not prohibit this.
- Another one folk sign– the godson and godfather should not have the same name.
Ideally, everyone should have two successors. But if it happens that it is impossible to choose a couple, then it is allowed that there will be one godfather: the girl has a woman, the boy has a man. According to the signs, unmarried girl It is better to baptize the boy first.
The people chosen for these responsible roles must be very close to his real parents, and the degree of their relationship is not important. , grandfather, aunt or uncle - all of them are not prohibited from baptizing a relative. But siblings are most often not assigned to this role.
It is believed that one cannot refuse the title of godfather, therefore, before offering to accept this role at a christening, it is better to find out whether the applicants themselves would like to take on the honorary duty.
Responsibilities of godparents
They not only have to participate in christenings, their main duty is to help the godson throughout his life, not just meet him periodically and give gifts, but also teach him goodness, morality and love.
After the completion of the ceremony, godparents receive a certificate-memoir, which states that they should become godsons or goddaughters’ assistants, teachers and mentors.
If godparents do not have the opportunity to often meet with their godson or daughter, they should pray for the child. Ideally, Orthodox successors should attend churches, live church life and fast, but this condition is by no means obligatory.
What should godparents have during a christening?
After the future godparents have been identified, the child must choose a church name, christening date and church. Usually children in church are baptized on Saturdays, but this can be done on any other day; fasting also does not prevent baptism from taking place.
Before baptism, the godparents come for the godson and “take” him. Before this, they should not sit down in the godson's house. Everyone goes to church together: parents with the baby and godparents.
Before the baptismal ceremony, godparents buy things for the baby, a list of which is usually given in the church:
- a traditionally shaped pectoral cross – bought by the godfather;
- an icon, preferably (but not necessarily) of the saint whose name the child will be baptized - bought by the godmother;
- The godmother also buys kryzhma - the material necessary for the sacrament, maybe with decorations, but more often ordinary white fabric;
- a baptismal shirt, and for the girl a scarf or cap - it is not necessary to buy, you can replace it with a clean vest and scarf from your existing wardrobe.
TO appearance There are no special requirements for godparents during christenings; the usual rules for visiting church are followed. Both godparents must wear crosses, the man without a headdress, and the woman with a covered head, covered shoulders and elbows, and a skirt or dress below the knees.
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Many people think that choosing godparents for their baby is very simple, but it seems so only at first glance. In fact, everything is not like that.
You need to understand that godparents must be responsible for their godson before God. They are responsible for his morality and spiritual education. Godparents are not only good friends, relatives or financially well-off acquaintances - these are the people whom you trust to raise your child, these are the people who can gain authority from the child, and can become a good example for him, spiritual parents . Godparents are the people you can always rely on in difficult times.
The sacrament of baptism occupies a very important place in a person’s life, since it is the second birth of a person, his spiritual birth. Godparents are entrusted with a very great responsibility, responsibility for the spiritual education of their godson (adoptive). For this reason, when choosing godparents, one must be guided by the fact that these people are believers and have high moral qualities.
Godparents for a child cannot be:
- Parents of the child himself, as well as people who are related to each other by blood;
- Nuns and monks;
- Non-believers;
- Gentiles, and not only non-Christians, but also heterodox;
- Minors (girls under 13 years of age, and boys under 15).
- Persons who are married or persons who are going to get married, since in the future the godparents of one child cannot have intimate relationships with each other, because they are spiritually related.
- Mentally ill people and people who have fallen morally.
What are the responsibilities of godparents?
The responsibilities of godparents are not at all what they imagine them to be. Many godparents believe that their duty is to give gifts to the child on Angel's Day, birthday and other holidays, to visit their godson (goddaughter) from time to time, and to maintain good relations with the child's parents. Of course, all this should also be present, but this is far from the most important. Godparents need to spend time with the baby reading, playing, talking about morality, love, and kindness. They must teach their godson the moral values that every believer should have. Before choosing godparents for your child, ask yourself the question: “will this person pray for my baby?” Yes, after all, prayer for the godson is the main responsibility of the godparent. It is best to choose godparents among close people or among relatives; these should be people who have been tested for years, so that after the christening ceremony they do not disappear for a long time. Godparents must realize that they have great responsibility upon themselves; care and guardianship of their godson must be their desire.
Godparents must be Orthodox believers; they must take their spiritual life seriously. Their calling is to ensure that the child attends church, receives communion, and fasts.
How many pairs of godparents can a child have?
The Christian Church says that a child must have one recipient, but always of the same gender as the person being baptized. A girl must have a godmother, and a boy must have a godfather. But most often the child has both godparents. Also, one child can have more than one pair of godparents. But parents must understand that the fewer godparents the child has, the more responsible and serious they will take their responsibilities.
What godparents need to have during the baptism ceremony
- The godmother must have baptismal clothes, which she buys in advance;
- Godfather must have a pectoral cross, and he must also pay for the ceremony;
- Godparents must have a pectoral cross on themselves, since without it they will not be allowed to the Sacrament;
- Godparents must know the prayer “I Believe” (preferably by heart, but if not, then at least be able to read it).
How many times during a lifetime can a person be a godfather?
The Orthodox Church does not have a clear definition on this issue. The most important thing is that the person who agrees to be a godparent remembers that he takes on great responsibility and is responsible for his godson before God. The measure of this responsibility can determine how many times during his life a person can take on such a responsibility. This measure is individual for each person.
They say that if you cannot refuse the offer to become godparents. For this reason, in order to avoid an unpleasant outcome, it is best to first ask the prospective candidate if there is a desire to baptize your baby.