Dua that binds families together. Dua for increasing inheritance (rizqa) and resolving material problems
Miracle words: muslim prayer to maintain pregnancy full description from all the sources we found.
Prayer to preserve pregnancy
Preservation prayer for pregnancy
We pray with all our heartsAlmighty God, Creator of the visible and invisible! We resort to You, beloved Father, creatures gifted with reason, because by special advice You created our race, with ineffable wisdom creating our body from the earth and breathing the soul of Your Spirit into it, so that we could be in Your likeness. It was in Your will to create us immediately as angels, if You wanted, but in Your wisdom it was desired that in the order You established through marriage, through a wife and a husband, the human race would multiply.
Jesus is always with us and our childrenAnd if You hear this prayer of ours, and send us a good and healthy child, we swear to bring him to You again, and dedicate him to You, so that for our seed and us You will remain a Father and a merciful God, so we, together with our child, swear as faithful servants you will always be. Merciful God, hear the prayer of Your servants, fulfill the prayer of our hearts, for the sake of our Savior Jesus Christ, who became incarnate for us and reigns for eternity. Amen!
Pregnant woman's prayer
And I ask that You bless the fruit within me. Help me save him from illnesses and vices. Bless him with health and development. And me, Your servant ( your name) bless as well. So that I don’t have to know about complications and illnesses. Strengthen me in faith and hope. Bless me for an easy birth. Protect me and my little child later. You gave us this miracle. Thank you for this joy. Help me become a worthy mother, my child and I entrust our future and our lives. Amen!
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Prayer to get pregnant
Many people believe that a happy family is possible only if children's voices are heard in the house. But it very often happens that, despite all the efforts made, a woman cannot get pregnant. This can destroy a family, so to prevent this from happening, believers must turn to the Higher Powers with a request to give them a child.
What prayers and to whom should I read to get pregnant?
When a family does not have a child for a long time, feelings cool down. But you shouldn't give up. It should be understood that conceiving and giving birth to a healthy child is a gift from God. Very often, infertility is a punishment for certain sins. But you should never blame the Almighty for your troubles and it is very important not to lose hope. Remember that the Bible says: “According to your faith, it will be given to you.” Sincere prayer will help you accept God's will and change the situation over time.
Before reading prayers aimed at getting pregnant, spouses need to repent of their sins, known and unknown. You definitely need to take communion and receive the priest’s blessing. After this, you need to mentally ask for forgiveness from those people whom you may have offended, even by accident. It is very necessary to forgive all those who have offended you, and also to remove anger and envy from your soul. This must be done sincerely, because God sees everything that is going on in each of us in the soul.
You can turn to prayers for pregnancy not only to the Lord God or the Most Holy Theotokos, but also to other Saints. Prayers to Xenia of St. Petersburg and Matrona of Moscow are considered effective. You can also pray for pregnancy to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker.
Prayer to Matrona of Moscow about pregnancy
In practice, it has been proven that prayer to Matrona of Moscow for pregnancy can work real miracles. It allows you to give birth even to women who have been diagnosed with infertility. Even scientists confirm that in the process prayer appeal By Holy Elder, certain changes occur in a woman’s body: blood circulation is normalized, the level of bad cholesterol is reduced and the state of the nervous system is stabilized.
It is best to pray for pregnancy in the Pokrovsky Monastery, where the relics of the Saint are kept, or at the Danilovsky cemetery, where Mother was previously buried. But if it is not possible to go to holy places, then you can ask the Staritsa for pregnancy at home in front of her image.
Prayer to the Mother of God to get pregnant and give birth to a healthy child
One of the powerful prayers aimed at getting pregnant and giving birth to a healthy child is an appeal to the Most Holy Theotokos.
It sounds like this:
Prayer to Nicholas the Wonderworker for a safe pregnancy
Prayers aimed at maintaining a successful pregnancy are very popular among women.
A very powerful prayer is an appeal to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker:
A strong prayer to the Mother of God to preserve pregnancy when there is a threat of miscarriage
Pregnancy does not always go well. And if there is a threat of involuntary abortion, then you should definitely pray to the Most Holy Theotokos. This will allow you to calm down, which will significantly reduce the risk of pregnancy failure. But at the same time, you should remember that you cannot refuse the help of doctors; if hospitalization is required, you must agree.
The prayer text reads as follows:
Prayer Holy Mother of God should be discussed with with a pure heart. It is necessary to delve into every word. Therefore, it is better to memorize the petition so as not to get carried away by the reading process.
Mother's prayer for her daughter, so that she becomes pregnant and gives birth to a baby
All mother's prayers have enormous power. And prayer for a daughter to become pregnant and successfully bear a child is no exception. As a rule, mothers resort to it when they realize that the family life of their beloved daughter may collapse due to the fact that she cannot get pregnant for a long time.
To make the prayer more effective, it should be said in the temple in front of the icon of the Savior. First, you should light candles for the health of your daughter and her husband, and then read the well-known prayer “Our Father.” After this, you need to pray for your daughter to become pregnant and give birth to a child.
The prayer text may sound like this:
Muslim prayer to get pregnant soon
Islam also requires a woman to read special duas to become pregnant.
There are three strong duas, which translated into Russian sound as follows:
- Al-Furqan 25/74: “They say: “Our Lord is great! Give us the joy of the eyes in our spouses and descendants and may we become an example for the God-fearing."
- Al-Araf 7/189: “When you give us a righteous child, our gratitude is immeasurable.”
- As-Saffat 37/100: “Our great Lord, bestow upon me offspring from among the righteous.”
- Maryam 19/5-6: “I am afraid of what my relatives may do after me, because my wife is barren. Grant me, Lord, an heir so that I can pass on my inheritance to him. And make him your saint."
Of course, Islamic prayers are more powerful when said in Arabic, so it is recommended to find their transcriptions on the Internet.
Dua for pregnancy and childbirth
1. If a wife cannot give birth to a child for a long time, then both husband and wife should recite Surah Fajr (Sura 89) three or seven times daily.
2. If the wife cannot give birth to a child for a long time, and there are fears that she is infertile, read Surah Muzammil (Sura 73) 11 times and each time blow on a piece of white sugar in the palm of your right hand, and then let him eat it wife.
Or the wife should fast for one day, and when it is time for Iftar, drink a glass of milk, for which Surah Muzammil has been recited 77 times as described above.
3. Also, if there is no child for a long time, read the following verse of the Prophets sura 3 times after each prayer:
Rabbi laa tazarni fardan va anta heirul varisiin
“O my Lord, do not leave me alone, for You are the Best of inheritors.”
4. If there is no child for a very long period, then read the 38th verse of Surah “The Family of Imran” as many times as you can:
Rabbi hab lii min ladunka zurriyatan teiibatan innaka anta samiiAu dduAa
“Oh, my Lord, grant me good offspring from You. Verily, You are the Hearer of requests!”
Subhanallah(exalted be Allah) – 70 times.
Astagfirullah(I ask forgiveness from Allah) – 10 times.
Subhanallah(exalted be Allah) – 9 times.
Then say verses 10-12 of Surah Nuh:
Astaghfiru rabbakum innahu kaana gaffaara yursilu ssamaa Aleikum midrara wa yumdidkum bi amvaalin wa baniin wa yajAal lakum jannatin wa yajaAl lakum anhaara
“Seek forgiveness from your Lord, verily He is the All-Forgiving. He will send you abundant rains from heaven. He will strengthen you with wealth and sons, and will give you gardens and give you rivers.”
6. If the wife is not able to give birth to a child, write the 12th, 13th and 14th verses of Surah “The Believer” on 7 basil leaves (on each leaf separately) and every day let the wife eat one leaf along with a glass of cow’s milk:
7. If the wife is unable to give birth to a child, read this dua for 11 tonsils (for each one separately) and let the wife eat one tonsil per day (that is, for 11 days):
Allahumma anta shshahiidu wa ana l-mashhuud fa man yadAu l-mashhuudu illya shshahiidu ya rabb
“O Allah, You are the Witness, and I am the Witnessed. So to whom will the witness cry, except to the Witness, O Lord!
8. If there is no child for a long time, fast for 3 days and read verse 74 of Surah “Discrimination” 21 times every day before going to bed.
9. If the wife is unable to give birth to a child, write the following text in Arabic letters (as written below) on a piece of paper and give it to the wife to wear as a bracelet on her right hand (you can wrap it or put it in something else):
Each of the top 4 words is written 9 times in a line. Salavat is written once below.
10. A man came to Imam Sadiq (A) and said: “Eight daughters were born to me one after another, and not a single son! What should I do to have a son?”
Imam (A) said: “Before intercourse with your wife, put your right hand on the right side of her navel and read Surah “Night of Power” seven times. Then have intercourse. When pregnancy is discovered, that same night again place your right hand on the right side of her navel and recite Surah “Night of Power” seven times.”
The man said, “I did this and got seven boys one after another, and so did all my friends.”
11. Sheikh Baha'i says that 900 infertile women tried the following method and gave birth to children. It consists of the fact that someone who is the woman's mahram (husband, mother, etc.) must write on her belly what is indicated below. However, before this procedure, you need to find a fat black kid that has no defects and is not 6 months old. He must be slaughtered indoors (that is, under the ceiling, not in the open air) and fed his cooked meat to 40 believers. Then the following verse of the Koran is written on her stomach:
وَ لَوْ اَنَّ قُرْآنًا سُيِّرَتْ بِهِ الْجِبَالُ اَوْ قُطِّعَتْ بِهِ اْلاَرْضُ اَوْ كُلِّمَ بِهِ الْمَوْتٰى بَلْ لِلهِ اْلاَمْرُ جَمِيْعًا
However, it is not written as it is written, and each of the letters is written separately, that is, like this:
و ل و ا ن ق ر ا ن ا س ي ر ت ب هـ ا ل ج ب ا ل ا و ق ط ع ت ب هـ ا ل ا ر ض ا و ك ل م ب هـ ا ل م و ت ی ب ل ل ل هـ ا ل ا م ر ج م ي ع ا
Dua for the health of a pregnant woman and fetus:
1. Write verses 91, 92 and 93 of the Prophets sura on a piece of paper and wear it on your body for 40 days after the start of pregnancy, then stop wearing it, and then start doing it again when the 9th month of pregnancy arrives. After the baby is born, tie this to the baby (he must wear it).
2. For the safety of the pregnant woman and the child and to prevent miscarriage, write the 1st verse of the Hajj surah with saffron and tie it to the mother’s body, preferably around the stomach or abdominal cavity.
3. For the safety of the pregnant woman and the child, write Surah “Clear Sign” (Surah 98) with saffron, then wash off the writing with clean water and let the mother drink this water.
4. To protect the mother from miscarriage or premature birth, you need to take a cotton thread as long as the height of this woman (pregnant), dye it with saffron and make 9 knots on the thread, reading verses 127 and 128 of the Bees sura separately for each knot, blowing on it after reading.
Rabbi laa tazarni fardan va anta heirul varisiin vaahidan vahshan fa yaksuru shukri An tafakkuri bal habli Aakibatan sidkan zukuuran va inaasan anis bihim mina l-vahshati wa skun ileichim mina l-vahdati va ashkuruka Ainda tamaami naAmati ya vahhaa bu va ya Azymu va ya muAzzymu sum aAtyn fi kulli Aafiyatin shukran hatta tablugani minha rizwaanaka fi sidki l-hadisi wa adaai l-amaanati wa wafaain bil Ahd
“O my Lord, do not leave me alone, for You are the Best of those who inherit, and the lonely, and the lost, so that my gratitude to You may disappear from my memory. But grant me good offspring, male and female, and through them deliver me from loneliness and loss, so that I thank You at the completion of Your blessings! O All-Giver, O Great One, O Magnifying One! And then grant me gratitude in every good thing, so that I may achieve Your pleasure in all my speeches, deeds and promises.”
6. Imam Ali (A) advised his Shiites to write the following dua in saffron on a piece of paper for the safety of childbirth, and then hang it on the mother’s right hand or neck:
7. It is written in “Tibbu l-aimma” (“Medicine of the Imams”) that Imam Bakir (A) advised his Shiites, if a wife is on the verge of death from the severity of childbirth and pain, read verses 23, 24 and 25 of the sura over her “ Maryam."
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Dua of Imam Ali (AS), known as "Munajat in the Kufa Mosque"
Ziyarat of the time lord Imam Mahdi (A) on Friday
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8. For a woman expecting difficulties during childbirth, the following is done: the following dua is read three times over a bowl of water, after which she drinks from this water, and the rest is poured onto her body between the shoulders and chest.
بِاسْمِ اللهِ الَّذِىْ لَا اِلٰهَ اِلَّا هُوَ الْحَلِيْمُ الْكَرِيْمُ، سُبْحَانَ اللهِ رَبِّ السَّمٰوَاتِ وَ رَبِّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيْمِ، اَلْحمْدُ لِلهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِيْنَ، كَاَنَّهُمْ يَوْمَ يَرَوْنَهَا لَمْ يَلْبَثُوْا اِلَّا عَشِيَّةً اَوْ ضُحَاهَا كَاَنَّهُمْ يَوْمَ يَرَوْنَ مَا يُوْعَدُوْنَ لَمْ يَلْبَثُوْا اِلَّا سَاعَةً مِّنْ نَّهَارٍ بَلَاغٌ فَهَلْ يُهْلَكُ اِلَّا الْقَوْمُ الْفَاسِقُوْنَ وَ صَلَّی اللهُ عَلٰی مُحَمَّدٍ وَ اٰلِهٖ اَجْمَعِيْنَ.
Please tell me what surah this is, if possible, you can write it in Russian transcription, thanks in advance.
They write “if the wife cannot give birth. “What if it’s about the husband?
The same. That is, dua for all such cases.
Assalamu alaikum Is there a dua to increase lactation?
Muslim prayer to preserve pregnancy
6 duas for pregnant Muslim women
Children are a precious gift from Allah Almighty. Allah gave the wonderful state of pregnancy only to a woman and exalted her status in this position:
“Won’t each of you be glad when she becomes pregnant by her husband, and he will be pleased with her, while for each day of pregnancy she will receive a reward for someone who fasts during the day and prays at night in the path of Allah.”
A pregnant woman worries and worries a lot about the health of her baby. Below are duas from the Quran that will ease the worries of the expectant mother:
Dua for good offspring
"God! Grant me beautiful offspring from Yourself, for You listen to prayer” (3:38).
Allah knows what is in the wombs
“Allah knows what each female carries, how much each womb contracts or expands. With Him every thing has its measure” (13:8).
Give me an heir
"God! Do not leave me alone, and You are the Best of heirs” (21:89).
“Our Lord! Grant us the delight of our eyes in our spouses and descendants, and make us an example for the God-fearing” (25:74).
The offspring who have submitted to you
رَبَّنَا وَاجْعَلْنَا مُسْلِمَيْنِ لَكَ وَمِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِنَا أُمَّةً مُسْلِمَةً لَكَ وَأَرِنَا مَنَاسِكَنَا وَتُبْ عَلَيْنَا إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ التَّوَّابُ الرَّحِيمُ
“Our Lord! Make us submissive to You, and from our descendants a community submissive to You. Show us the rites of worship and accept our repentance. Verily, You are the Acceptor of repentance, the Merciful” (2:128).
رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِنَ الصَّالِحِينَ
“Lord, give me offspring from among the righteous!” (37:100).
6 duas for a strong, happy marriage
Family is the greatest blessing in our life. This is the most important happiness on which all our well-being depends. Having a strong and happy family has strength and peace of mind.
A happy family is a gift and blessing from Allah, which, unfortunately, not everyone gets, and if a person has acquired such mercy, he should thank the Almighty every day for such a gift. But nothing in this life is predetermined by us, we never know when we will find it, when we will lose it, when we will be happy, and when we will experience difficulties... Also, we cannot firmly say that our marriage will never fail, that we will always be together and we will love each other forever. This is not in our power... We can only endlessly thank Allah and ask Him not to deprive us of the happiness of a strong and loving family.
Below are 6 duas to maintain a strong and happy family:
Baraka Allah li-kullin minna fi sahibihi.
May Allah Almighty make each of us blessed for each other
Bismillah, Allahumma jannibna shaytana wa jannibi shaytana ma razaktana.
In the name of Allah! O Allah, take the shaitan away from us and take the shaitan away from what you have given us.
Allahumma waffik bayni wa bayna zawji, wa jma baynana ala khair(in).
O Allah, bring peace and harmony between me and my wife (my husband) and unite us in good.
Allahummaj-al haza-l-aqda maymunan mubarakan waj-al baynahuma ulfatan wa mahabbatan wa karara, wa la taj-al baynahuma nafratan wa fitnatan wa firara.
My Allah, make our marriage happy and blessed. Strengthen our marriage and give us lasting love. They took us away from strife and gossip.
Allahumma allif baina kulyubina, wa aslih zata bainina, wa hdina subula s-salami, wa najjina mina z-zulumati ila n-nur, wa jjannibna l-fawahisha ma zahara minha vama batana.
O Allah, unite our hearts and make our relationship good. Lead us along the paths of peace and bring us out of darkness into light. They have kept us away from obscenities, both secret and overt.
Allahumma allif baynahuma kama allafta bayna Adama wa Hawwa wa kama allafta bayna Muhammadin wa Khadijatul-kubra wa kama allafta bayna Aliyin wa Fatimata-z-Zehra. Allahumma a-ti lekhuma avlyadan salikhan va ryzkan vasian va umran tavilyan.
1. Read the 56th sura “Falling” after the night prayer (isha).
2. Read verse 39 of Surah “The Cave”:
مَا شَاء اللَّهُ لَا قُوَّةَ إِلَّا بِاللَّهِ
Ma sha Allah la quwwata illya billya
« What Allah wanted: There is no power except with Allah».
3. Read Surah Dawn regularly
4. Whoever says “Ar-razzaq” (“All-Nurturing”) 308 times in the morning will receive more inheritance than he expects.
5. To gain financial independence, read Surah “Ta.Ha” in the last part of the night (before dawn).
6. According to Imam Baqir (A), to increase inheritance one must recite this dua:
Allahumma inni asaluka rizkan wasiAan teyiban min rizqiq
“O Allah, I ask You for an extensive, good provision from Your inheritance.”
7. Read this dua 1000 times at midnight to save you from poverty and increase your lot:
Subhanaka maaliki l-hayyu l-qayyum allazi la yamut
“Glorified are You, the King, the Living, the Ever-Existing One, Who will not die.”
8. To increase your inheritance, recite “Ya Ganiya” (emphasis on the letter “i”, meaning “O Rich One”) 1060 times between evening and night prayers.
Allahumma Rabba ssamawaati ssaba wa Rabba l-Arshi l-Azym ikdi Anna ddayna wa agnina mina l-faqr
“O Allah, O Lord of the seven heavens and Lord of the great Throne: pay our debts and deliver us from poverty!”
10. Read this dua 7 times with salawat after each obligatory prayer:
Rabbi inni limaa anzalta ileyya mina heirin fakiir
“O Allah, I need what You have sent me for good!”
11. Read this dua with salawat 114 times after night prayer (isha) for 7 days, starting from Friday:
Wa Aindahu mafaatihu l-geibi la yaAlamuhaa illa huwa wa yaAlamu maa fi l-barri wal bahri wa maa taskutu min varakatin illya yaAlamuhaa wa la habbatin fii zulumaati l-ardi wa la ratbin wa la yabisin illa fii kitabin mubiin y a hayu ya kayyum
“He has the keys to the hidden, and only He knows about them. He knows what is on land and in sea. Even a leaf falls only with His knowledge. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth, neither fresh nor dry, that is not in clear Scripture! O Living One, O Ever-Existing One!”
12. In “Kanzul Maknun” it is reported from the Holy Prophet (S) that the following dua, if read after a prayer of 2 rak’ahs, increases the rizq:
Ya maajid ya waajid ya ahadu ya kariim atavajjahu ileyka bi muhammadin nabiyika nabiy rrahmati salla Allahu alayhi wa aali. Ya rasuulya llahi inni atavajjahu bika ila llahi rabbiqa wa rabbi wa rabbi kulli shay. Fa asaluka ya rabbi an tusalliyya Alya muhammadin wa ahli beitihi wa asaluka nafkatan kariimatan min nafkatika wa fathan yasiran wa rizkan vaasiAan alummu bihi shaAsi wa aqdi bihi dayi wa astaAiinu bihi Alya Ayaali
“Oh, Glorious One! O Abiding One! Oh, the only one! O Magnanimous One! I turn to You through Muhammad - Your prophet, the prophet of mercy, may Allah's greetings be upon him and his family! O Messenger of Allah, I turn through you to Allah, your Lord and my Lord, the Lord of all things! I ask You, O my Lord, that You bless Muhammad and the people of his House and grant me generous food, an easy victory and an extensive inheritance with which I will arrange my upset affairs, pay my debts and feed my family!
13. Read Surah “Falling” 3 times after each night prayer (isha) for 5 weeks continuously, starting from Saturday. Every day before reading this surah, recite the following dua:
Allahumma rzukni rizkan waasiAn halalan teyiban min geyri qaddin wa stajib daAwati min geyri raddin wa aAuzu bika min faziihati bi fakrin wa dayin wa dfaA Anni haazeini bi haqqi l-imameini sibteini al-hasan wal hussein Aleihima ssalamu birahmatika ya arhama rrahimiin
“O Allah, grant us a vast, permissible, good inheritance without hard work (to obtain it), and answer my prayer without rejecting it! I resort to You from the humiliation of poverty and debt! So remove these two disasters from me in the name of two Imams - Hasan and Hussein, peace be upon them both, by Your mercy, O Most Merciful of the Merciful!
14. As stated in “Kanzu al-maknun”, one should read verse 186 of Surah “The Cow” between wuzu and obligatory prayer to increase the lot.
16. From Imam Sadiq (A): to increase the rizq, you need to keep the written Surah “Hijr” in your pocket or wallet.
Ya kavviyu ya ganiyu ya valyu ya malii
“Oh, Strong, oh, Rich, oh, Patron, oh, Bestower!”
18. Muhsin Kashani says that this (above) dua should be recited 1000 times between evening and night prayers.
Astaghfiru llah laziya la ilaha illya huwa rrahmaanu rrahiimu l-hayyul l-qayyumu badiiAu ssamawaati wal ard min jamiiAi jurmi wa zulmi wa israafi Alya nafsi wa atuubu ili
“I ask forgiveness from Allah, besides Whom there is no other god - the Gracious, the Merciful, the Living, the Ever-Existing, the Creator of heaven and earth - for all my crimes, oppressions and injustices against myself and I turn to Him!”
My wife and I got married a year and a half ago, and before that we communicated as a couple for four years. At the very beginning of our communication, there were both romantic feelings and mutual respect between us. But after some time, all sorts of disagreements and quarrels began to arise. After the wedding, these tensions only intensified.
In most cases, during our quarrels, I tried to control myself like a man and, turning around, silently left in order to avoid foul language on my part towards my wife. Now my feelings for her have cooled, and she does not attract me as a woman. This, in turn, led to virtually no intimate life. Because of this, scandals in our family intensified. I suggested to my wife that I divorce, but she refuses because, according to her, she still has strong feelings for me. I insist on severing family relations in order to avoid complications in the future. Nevertheless, I am not yet taking more decisive steps out of deep respect for the feelings of my wife and the relatives around us (parents, etc.). She and I are very worried about this crisis in our relationship, and I am afraid that this may push her to rash actions (suicide, etc.), all of which in general has a very negative impact on her and my health.
But I can’t imagine continuing our family life together without an accompanying healthy intimate life. We don't have children. I am 28 years old, she is 27. I don’t want to deprive both of us of a chance for a happier life and, first of all, her. Azamat, Kazakhstan.
Well, why are you so categorical?! I suppose you smart people, and therefore must find a time when, (1) sleepy and rested, (2) not in a hurry, (3) at approximately 17.00 in the evening (no later than 21.00), sit at home in a cozy and tidy kitchen (or in a quiet restaurant) and Over a cup of aromatic tea with a piece of delicious cheese cake, discuss everything that has accumulated and layered on your heart. You, dear Azamat, must prepare for this conversation: unearth all your discontent, indignation, grievances that were not voiced when turning around and leaving. In that (" turning around, silently leaving"), I believe, is your main mistake in conducting family life. After each conflict, having calmed down and thought it over (for example, the next day in the evening), you should have delicately reprimanded everything to your wife and looked for a way out of the current situation with her, jointly neutralizing the unpleasant aftertaste. Since this did not happen, the accumulated negativity became unbearable for you, “heavy”, like a large piece of unchewed fatty meat that sank into your stomach, which hit hard not only on the head, but also, excuse me, below the belt.
You should clear out and throw away all the garbage that has accumulated in your relationships (induce vomiting and drink mineral water), and you will not only save your family, feel the aroma and sweetness of good family relationships, but also take a serious step forward in becoming you as a Personality, which is for everyone self-respect is very important.
Some time ago I got married, which entailed serious changes in my life. Before my marriage, I was not what is called a practicing Muslim. My husband has become very religious person, which, it seemed to me, would make it so that my coming to religion would not be a burden for me, and there would finally be harmony in my life. But everything turned out differently.
I must be reading very poorly if I still haven’t found where it is written that a woman should not count on the love and respect of her husband if she, unfortunately, has such a hole in her head that she cannot learn ten suras. Where is it written that if a woman refuses to wear the hijab, she does not trust in Allah enough. Where is it written that if a woman expects affection, whatever kind of affection, just a kind word from her husband, ordinary human sympathy, she is poorly brought up. And if a woman wants to wear any other clothes at home, besides a dress that looks like a sack, she is slutty. My questions can be continued indefinitely, but, in essence, they can be reduced to one thing: where does it say that a woman is not a person?
Please tell me how I can explain to my husband that there is no coercion in religion, that I do not want to use religion as a means of pleasing him. We have two kids. Unfortunately, these are not my children, but I love them very much, and this can become a big problem for me, because it is unbearable to see the constant reproach in the eyes of their father, since he had a good wife, and now he got me. Every time I try to explain to him that I am not comfortable with him, he threatens that he will take a second wife, and if something does not suit me, then I can always leave. How can I save my family, not go crazy and not lose my iman (faith)? Amira.
You've come to the wrong place (if everything is as you stated). Religiosity does not always mean having good manners, good morals and intelligence. Perhaps you should take a decisive step in life and learn to predict circumstances.
If you still stay with him, you must understand that he will not change, and therefore you will have to change, adapt to him: take the trouble to learn a few surahs; learn to tie a scarf beautifully and feel comfortable doing it; understand that the absence of obvious rudeness is a manifestation of his politeness.
One guy loves me very much, but I married another, it just so happened. The guy is suffering and is ready to marry me if I get a divorce. I do not know how to be. I myself suffer, because I also wanted to marry him. It's been three months of nothing but torment. He alternately threatens and begs. What hadith should I give him to read? How to calm his soul? M.
If you want to give him a hadith to read, it means that Muslim moral standards are respected by you. And if you respect them, then when you got married, you should have stopped all relationships with men other than your husband and men from among your relatives. If you introduce this norm of Muslim morality into practice, then after a week or two the guy’s feelings for you will disappear, since neither conversations, nor conversations, nor meetings will support them.
What advice should I give him? He'll figure it out himself. You are not his mom or dad. You are making a very serious mistake by communicating about love topics with strangers while you are married. I hope you can understand how serious and dangerous this error is.
My husband constantly communicates with strangers. Can talk on the phone sometimes for hours, locked in a room. It's the same on the Internet: almost all of my friends are scantily clad women. For them he finds time to go to a restaurant, cinema, etc., while for me he doesn’t have a few minutes to just go for a walk.
Moreover, he does not allow me to communicate with anyone except close relatives and those with whom he introduces me. I am greatly offended, humiliated and insulted by his behavior. I don't want to be just a servant in the house. I thought about divorce many times, but divorce is hateful to Allah and I don’t want to upset my parents, cause them pain and trouble. It’s surprisingly funny, but for some reason, despite everything, I love my husband! Please advise what should I do? Murshida, 21 years old.
His behavior is wrong and mean towards you. If you treat what is happening neutrally, then you can protect yourself from all sorts of destructive stress and depression. You can get a divorce (if he really is, without exaggeration), but only if you have the prospect of devoting yourself to work and a career for some time, so as not to psychologically wither away due to separation.
Probably one of the main problems in what is happening is whether he enters into intimate relationships with other women, because in this case you can bring home very unpleasant diseases, which, in turn, can seriously affect the health and physical, mental usefulness of your future children, even if he (and after him you) are cured. More than once people came to me for advice who, at one time, walked left and right, got sick, infected their wife, were treated, but subsequently some could not have children (although according to medical indicators both were healthy), while others became pregnant, but during pregnancy the previously introduced virus was activated and the doctors categorically declared an abortion, saying that otherwise the child would be born sick.
Sins (adultery, alcohol, drugs, smoking) are not a joke, as some people think in their youth. Sometimes you have to correct them for the rest of your life (many decades), while being in torment and suffering.
You are young (21 years old), and it’s up to you to decide how to build your life, given to us in all the glory of talents and opportunities on this earth only once. To become a servant for such a reveler is something I would not wish for my daughter. With this attitude towards you now, what can we expect from him in twenty years?!
Much to our chagrin, there are still rare individuals among the stronger sex, from whom it is better to stay away, and if you hit them, then right in the nose or between the legs, so as not to appear too small.
It hurts, but this is life, where everyone, be it a man or a woman, is given a wide range of choices and opportunities: some are more courageous and daring, others are very prudent and prudent, and the third is afraid of everything, and therefore lives as if in a cage.
Pray to the Almighty for help, do your best and don’t dry up (!) because of life’s trials (in any case ending sooner or later), but bloom with all the colors and aromas. I wish you success!
And you can look at what’s happening this way: accept him as he is, correcting his behavior and expressing your wishes with hints and short polite remarks. Become the most beautiful, charming and attractive for him (daily gymnastics, appropriate attractive clothes, good perfume, etc.). All this will require you to actively work on yourself and discipline over the years. If you are ready and implement this, I think he will not run after someone on the Internet, but after you, trying to return home early and enjoy your magnificence, politeness and deliciously prepared food. Go for it.
My husband has been in prison for five years. We have a son. I live with my husband's family. They constantly slander me, insult me, and bring me to tears. I endure and cry to the Almighty. But there is no strength. And recently I found out that my husband cheated on me, and still keeps a photo of that girl. I don’t know what to do.
This year I was in Mecca and asked the Almighty for patience. I try to do everything according to Islam. I beg you, help. I love my husband and don’t want to lose my family. Maryam, 27 years old.
You are overly sensitive regarding your husband's relatives. Read at least one or two books on psychology (I highly recommend it). You have a lot to learn and have to teach your son, pass on certain character qualities to him, because he will grow up looking at you.
Trips to Mecca are good, but they will not teach you the skills of building relationships with people and the ability to regulate emotions, neutralizing negative ones or transforming them into positive ones. If you love and don’t want to lose, improve yourself and open your eyes to what’s happening around you. Smile more. It’s not easy for you now, but this period will teach you a lot and help you rise above the emerging (sometimes without any particular reason) negative emotions and circumstances developing outside of us. Change yourself and you will change the world around you. It sounds beautiful, implementation is not easy, but with a strong desire and a competent approach, it is achievable. Live and breathe deeply, there is no need to turn into an insect because of someone. Let me clarify: this does not call for conflict, but encourages us to work on the “muscles” of the brain and moral qualities, which for many are simply atrophied.
By the way, do not ask the Lord of the worlds for patience, but ask vitality, energy, which was clearly emphasized by the final messenger of God, Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings of God be upon him): “The best prayer-du‘a [addressed to the Lord of the worlds] is the one when you ask the Lord for your forgiveness and al-‘afiya(vital energy; health, well-being, well-being) in the earthly abode and in the eternal. Indeed, truly, if you receive them in the earthly abode, and then in the eternal [on the Day of Judgment this will be very useful to you], then you will achieve success [fullness of happiness, splendor in both worlds]."
I have been married for almost thirteen years, we have two children. They love their father very much and their father too. But he fulfills perhaps only the first of the pillars of Islam and drinks often. In addition, he has a very difficult character. Sensitivity and pity for me are simply absent. I have been hoping for a long time that it will be fixed, but, alas, I am already in despair. Now we are on the verge of divorce. Will it be a sin on me if I separate from him against the will of the children? Our boy is 8 years old and our girl is 6.
You are not the only one who has faced such trouble. This problem is relevant for most modern women.
I cannot fully appreciate the tragedy of your situation, but if we talk about the advice that I could give you, it is as follows.
Save your family for the sake of your children and husband. If you get divorced, it will be a big shock for the children’s psyche, and you may leave your husband to the mercy of fate, leaving him alone with a glass.
Correctly assess the situation you are in. Your situation is a kind of jihad on the path of the Almighty, requiring a huge amount of effort to save your family, help your husband and raise children. If you endure, you will be rewarded with indescribable many things in this life.
Choose the right “battle” tactics. Do not irritate your husband with trifling reproaches. Get yourself out of the satanic circle of disputes, trials, scandals. When the situation gets tense, move away, retreat, do not add “fuel to the fire”!
Carry out your household duties calmly. You cooked deliciously, keep it up. Just as you took care of yourself, take care of yourself. Be diligent in raising your children. Don't make them dislike their father. On the weekend, worry about leisure.
Remember, despair is from Satan: “Do not despair in any way of the mercy of God! After all, only the atheists despair of His mercy” (see Holy Quran, 12:87). This feeling is always somewhere nearby, and as soon as we weaken, it tries to take over our entire consciousness, instilling hopelessness. You need to walk through this “darkness” calmly, this tunnel will end in any case. And again it will be light and joyful. Even if the tunnel stretches for tens of kilometers, we, being believers, without losing hope, must go and not stop. If we lose it, we will “cut off” the grace of the Creator from ourselves.
Be wise and tactful. Believe me, a lot depends on what our intentions and attitude towards this or that life situation. If you light up with the light of hope, relying on Allah and maintaining this light, then the same will gradually appear in your husband. Understand, he wants to get out of this addiction, but he cannot. There is not enough will. Pray for him.
Alcoholism is a very serious disease. But it is curable through the awakening of will, reason and endurance in a person.
In our time, I have come across the fact that often a man, having become familiar with the basics of religious practice, tries to establish in his family, how can I say, strict order and a clear division between the responsibilities of the spouses. Let’s say I’m a man, I make all the decisions, a woman should stay at home and raise children; having a higher education is not necessary for her. But you should start with yourself, because a sprout will not grow on uncultivated soil, and even if it does, its roots will be weak. And in life this will bring a lot of suffering to both.
Sometimes you think: well, is it really right that a Muslim will yell at his wife, give her a sharp ultimatum without any explanation, citing the fact that she must agree with his decision so that she deserves a reward in eternal life. And where then are those qualities that you often hear and read about: gentleness, good manners, and most importantly - understanding?! It seems to me that family life should be like the merging of two streams into one common stream, which gains strength and pressure, pushing out all the stone blocks in its path and making its way, and not two streams, one of which dries up or stagnates, becoming covered with mud.
1. From your point of view, is everything I wrote above a romantic view, far from the truth? If not, please advise what your spouse should do in such a pressure situation?
2. How do you feel about the fact that in a Muslim family a child after 2 years of age has a Muslim nanny, or at least a close relative to look after him, while the mother goes to work or continues to study?
3. If a wife doubts whether her husband can support her at the level she wants, can she go to work?
4. There is a hadith that if a woman could bow to anyone other than the Almighty, it would be her husband. Could you please clarify: does this hadith mean showing deep respect to all husbands, regardless of their inner content, or specifically to those who are Muslims, have the same respect for their spouse and show worthy qualities of a believer? Muemina, Kazakhstan.
1. I completely agree with you. Your judgments are absolutely correct, which is also confirmed by the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), both in statements and in actual actions. For example, he said: “Believers who have achieved greatest in faith, are those who have high noble morals [first of all, who know how to guide themselves, control their emotions, anger, respond to bad things with good]. And the best of you are those who the best how he treats his wife [her husband] (his family).”
2. This is possible as a result of a family decision on this matter, but I myself am a supporter of the spouse worrying about the material side of family life, and the spouse being involved in the socialization of the family, the home and raising children. The best teacher for a child is his mother. By the way, I consider it very important and necessary for today’s mothers to have a higher education.
3. You can doubt many things. There are many fears that we may encounter in everyday life. There is nothing stable or guaranteed in the worldly abode. But one of the main reasons for a certain stability and confidence in the future is that a person finds himself in life, has an education, masters his craft and improves in it. By leaving our children to someone else's care (nanny, street), in ten to fifteen years we may encounter problems that cannot be corrected. Investments (of time, effort, attention, material resources) in their own children are one of the most profitable and promising both in worldly terms and regarding well-being in eternity, because the good upbringing of children is one of the main responsibilities of parents before God, who gave us our Chad.
By the way, if you have children, then you should be well aware that they require attention to themselves almost 24 hours a day. And it is their mother who should be busy with this, since the father is usually absorbed in work and providing the family with material wealth for today and tomorrow.
4. When people love, appreciate and trust each other, they are ready to give everything without demanding anything in return. Otherwise, marriage turns into a deal “you - for me, I - for you,” and it is unlikely that in such a situation one can understand the hadith: “This whole [perishable] world is something that is acquired (what a person uses and enjoys). The best thing that can be acquired in it is a pious (well-behaved) spouse [for a young man, and for a girl - a pious, loving and beloved spouse].”
Before accepting Islam, I dated a Muslim man and loved him very much. Having accepted Islam, I stopped meeting with him because it would have become sinful. We talked on the phone several times, saw each other several times and that was it. Then he married another girl (his parents found him a bride). I waited patiently for him to offer to become my second wife. But this did not happen. I began to pray to forget him and love another person. Over time, I met a worthy Muslim man and married him for the sake of Allah, although I did not experience strong love.
Six months passed, and that man found out about my marriage. He began to seek communication with me, asking for a meeting. I couldn’t stand it and agreed without telling my husband. In the absence of my husband, I met this man. During the meeting, I could not resist and allowed him kisses and some caresses (there was no sexual intercourse). After this meeting, he began to demand that we see each other again. I agreed to a second meeting only to tell him about my decision to never communicate with him again and ask him to disappear from my life. That's what I did. And although he did not stop seeking communication with me, I will never respond to his messages again.
I realized that I did not love my husband, but a sense of respect, duty and, probably, a sense of guilt led me to the realization that I should stay with my husband and have no reason to demand a divorce. My husband loves me, provides for me, cares for me, trusts me completely and doesn’t second guess anything. Incredible shame, remorse, the feeling that I deceived and humiliated him with my act do not allow me to live in peace. I constantly pray to Allah to forgive me for my terrible offense, because I disgraced my husband, the honor of our young family, and the name of a Muslim woman. I don’t know how or with what I can atone for my guilt. Tell me, what should I do in accordance with Sharia?
(1) Repent, (2) forget about what happened, (3) don’t tell anyone else about it (categorically don’t tell, erase this offense from your memory), (4) forget about that unscrupulous and dishonest man who (being already married !) kissed and hugged someone else's wife, (5) truly love your husband for the rest of your life.
Fulfilling all these points will require strict self-discipline and constant self-improvement from you. Keep this in mind and don’t relax, you are far from a child anymore.
Surprisingly, people understand everything, but they sin... If you even once get in touch with that unscrupulous person, then all your repentance is an empty phrase. Be prudent and pious not only in words.
I'm married and we have a child, but my husband and I don't live together for some reason. I’m probably partly to blame for the fact that things are turning out this way for us. The husband does not show his love to the baby in any way, he just keeps saying why we needed a child if our relationship is not good. That is, he blames me for having a child so early...
He has a very complex character, and I’m just mentally tired of putting up with it. Everyone tells me that you shouldn’t torture yourself like that: if you can’t live, don’t live.
I am raising a child alone. Glory to Allah, I have parents who support me, do not reproach me, but, on the contrary, help me. The husband even spends weekends with his mother, and not with the child. I don’t know what to do, it’s unrealistic to live like this all my life, but I don’t want to raise a child without a father. Mukhsina, 22 years old.
Look at yourself not through the eyes of a martyr, but through the living eyes of a loving mother and an understanding, complicit wife. Feel light, let go of the situation, don’t force it artificially, because you have your whole life ahead of you. Work on yourself and find a common language with your husband and his mother, removing the negative perception of them from your gut. Learn to forgive.
Married for fourteen years, two children. The wife fell in love with her work colleague and wants a divorce. He doesn’t want to hear any arguments. The apartment is her property, I am being kicked out of it. What should I do? How to build relationships further? Azat, 33 years old.
Do not give in and do not leave the children to the mercy of her frivolity. If you are officially husband and wife, then according to the family code you can apply for living space. Check with lawyers for the details you need and learn how to protect your rights and interests and those of your children.
I've been married for eight years. Our marriage began as a logical outcome beautiful love. But the fairy tale ended very quickly. Over the years of married life there were different things: my husband’s numerous affairs on the side, and my jealousy, and the terrible scenes that we staged for each other and which sometimes ended with him beating me. I can’t say that I was an angel, if only because I lacked the wisdom to behave correctly, not to show my jealousy, to be or at least seem indifferent. Sometimes it occurs to me that the collapse of our marriage is the punishment of the Almighty for the fact that before marriage we crossed certain boundaries of what was permitted, there were kisses and hugs, although there was no greater intimacy between us. The Almighty sees how deeply I repent of this and how much pain and regret it still costs me. Maybe I had to pay for my sin by being unhappy in the family life I dreamed of with the person I once loved so much and to whom I am absolutely indifferent now?
We got divorced, then got married again because of the child, and also because it seemed to me like I could start over, and it’s hard to be a divorced woman. But nothing has changed. Neither he nor I. Now the only difference in our relationship is that we have absolutely no intimate life. It’s uncomfortable to talk about it, but the very thought of intimacy causes disgust and fear for me. At first, for a long time, I tried to pretend so as not to offend him, and hoping that everything would change over time. But you can't pretend forever. I tried to explain myself, but this only led to a scandal.
We are still married and living together, but there has been no marital relationship for many months. This suits me, but he doesn’t. I don’t want to get a divorce, I’m ready to be his wife, at least formally, without washing dirty linen in public and without hurting the child. Maybe he should take a second wife? I think this would be a reasonable option for both of us. But I'm not sure how much this is consistent with Islam. I know that a wife has no right to deny her husband intimate intimacy, and from this position I am already sinful, but if it’s like a disease, something over which I have no power? Sorry for the long letter, but you probably understand that I have no one to consult with. Najia.
By changing ourselves, we change the world. You should change, change twice - in your attitude to what is happening and in your everyday affairs, actions, habits. Even if we find ourselves emotionally, physically or materially, as it may seem to us, at the very bottom of life, we must continually fill it with meaning, the joy of relationships, wisdom, by reading a lot of positive literature, communicating with good people and disciplinedly doing everything in our power to get out (first - in our thoughts and moods). A believer is not like an artificial rhinestone, playing falsely with reflections, but like a diamond, which always reflects the purest, true brilliance of the worldly and eternal. But keep in mind that a diamond becomes an expensive diamond only after going through a long process of cutting, which eliminates all unnecessary things and brings out the real beauty and splendor to the surface.
I strongly advise you to study my book “World of the Soul”. Read it with a pencil in hand, make your notes right in the margins and try to apply what you find interesting and relevant. Your life is just beginning! Remember this and don’t forget it either at 50 or at 70!
I am going through very difficult days in my married life. Our family crisis has been going on for more than a year now, this crisis is intensifying and then subsiding, but there has not been complete mutual understanding from the first day. I got married at 22 years old. We came from completely different families and perceive the world completely differently, although both she and I are of the same nationality.
Her uncle was one of the top officials in the local government, snatched a lot of money, and their family began to consider themselves people of high society. When I got married, I knew that their financial situation was higher than ours, but I never imagined that it was so much higher! We did not depend financially on her relatives, and even if there was any need, I would not allow them to support us. My monthly budget is not bad, but for them it is poverty and an amount that is embarrassing to say out loud. In their family, it is allowed for women in swimsuits to sunbathe on the beach, and men to walk without disdain (as long as there is a female creature). Say whatever you want about Islam: either in the forehead or in the forehead. My wife feels like a terribly unhappy woman because of my traditional Islamic attitude towards the behavior of men and women. I myself pray, read the Koran, and this was the reason why they labeled me a “Wahhabi,” although I am far from a Wahhabi, not a Takfiri, not a Salafist, etc., but an ordinary Sunni Muslim. Our relationship with my wife is at its limit, sometimes the feeling of love is mixed with a feeling of hatred. We love each other (at least I love her madly), but we can’t be together anymore... We are too different, and in five years of living together we couldn’t do anything about it.
We have a one and a half year old son, and my wife is now pregnant again. When she found out she was pregnant, she was furious and then depressed. I was very happy about her pregnancy and hoped that it would somehow save our marriage. But, alas, I heard from her that she planned to wait until her son grew up a little, then get a divorce. I don’t see anything bright in our future family life, but getting a divorce is also difficult, primarily because of the existing son and the baby that may appear, and I also have feelings for her.
Please advise what should I do? Will divorce break the heart of my son and future child? There is a high probability that we will still get divorced in the coming years or will torment each other until the end of our days. Nadir.
I will advise you the following:
1. Calm down and think only about the good (imagine not a divorce, but a happy family life). This will become your mental prayer to the Almighty. But you need to work on this attitude; emotions and troubles should not affect it.
2. Never say bad things about her family, either in front of her or behind her back.
3. Eliminate religious criticism of her or her family from conversations. Be patient and close this topic.
4. Give her the opportunity to be who she wants to be - let her go. She must go through something, only then will she comprehend a lot and return to you, unless you close the door behind her and completely destroy the relationship.
5. Be positive in everything, even if she turns into your sworn enemy (the terrible dragon). When you can patiently overcome this, then she will become your closest friend and a loving, respectful spouse. This is mentioned in the Quran.
6. Your age is the time to (1) work on yourself, (2) wisely overcome the obstacles you mentioned and thereby (3) form your own personality not in words, but in deeds.
7. By the way, there is no need to scatter “talaqs” (divorces); in order to temporarily live apart, you should not shout or say “you are divorced.”
8. During pregnancy, women can be very nervous and irritable. Keep this in mind and close your eyes to some things. Give her flowers at least once a week. This will gradually transform her from an ugly duckling into a beautiful swan.
All points mentioned here should be reviewed by you daily (print it out, for example, and carry it with you). Understand that neither you, nor your habits, nor your relationships will change in one day. This will take months or years, but then a happy time in your life will come, if you can emerge victorious, having overcome in yourself what was hindering you, but in yourself, and not in her. By changing yourself, you will change the environment, and your spouse will come to you. The Creator's power and will, His mercy are limitless, so take as much as you can.
My husband and I live in his parents' house, since he is the only son. His parents do not observe religious tenets and treat me, my observant daughter-in-law, not as well as I would like. But I close my eyes to everything and do not outwardly show irritability, even if they offend my religious feelings. I understand that if we have conflicts, first of all it will be my beloved husband who will feel bad about it. But I love him very much and don’t want to create problems and causes for concern.
Recently I was very upset by my mother-in-law, and most likely this nervous breakdown was the reason why I had a miscarriage the next day. My husband and I went through this very hard, as we had been waiting for the baby for a long time. Since then I have been living with my parents and cannot return to my husband’s house. I realize and understand perfectly well that everything good and bad comes from God, but I have developed a persistent hostility and resentment towards my mother-in-law. I can’t go back there and pretend that nothing happened and treat her the same way. I'm suffering, I miss my husband.
What should I do if I don’t want a divorce and don’t want to turn my husband against his parents? Maire.
Agree, admit to yourself that you initially had far from positive feelings towards his parents, and you did not forgive them for what seemed offensive to you, but accumulated it, which led to the trouble you mentioned. Practicing certain tenets of Islam does not mean being a bearer of Muslim culture and morality, as we understand from the practice of life every day. A practicing Muslim, like any other smart woman, should be able to forgive others, especially her husband’s parents, especially while living in their house. Only you yourself are to blame for what happened, and awareness of this should help you learn to practice faith in your actions, in relationships with other people, especially with relatives. The Almighty gives us problems as an impulse to grow and spiritual development, so don’t degrade yourself spiritually by blaming others for things they are not guilty of.
A small example from the letter, clearly illustrating your lack of spiritual practice (in certain matters): “there appeared dislike" But this feeling is bad, harmful and comes into direct conflict with the Sunnah of the Prophet (may the Almighty bless him and greet him). You probably knew about this, but the practice of knowledge was absent, which led to obvious destruction in your still just beginning family life. The final messenger of God said: “Do not abhor (hatred, dislike) each other [or anyone]! Do not quarrel with each other [learn to easily find a common language with others, look for agreement, a peaceful form of resolving misunderstandings and problems that arise]!<…>Be brothers [don’t lose your humanity, the feeling of universal kinship, “all of you are children of Adam, and he was created from the earth”].”
Conclusion: you have something to work on and something to strive for, and therefore do not waste precious time, sincerely apologize to your husband’s parents and begin to transform, first of all, in your attitude to what is happening. Do not justify your weaknesses and try to see in others, notice only the good in them, which is also a very important quality of a believer who practices God’s tenets not only in words, but also in deeds. I wish you success and an endless flow of vital energy. Amen.
A friend of mine recently got married, but, unfortunately, after the wedding it turned out that her husband loved someone else and did not want to live with his wife. For the eighth month now, she has been trying in every way to keep her family together and doing everything to be happy. However, her husband does not pay attention to her at all. They are not planning to give birth to a child yet (for medical reasons). She is a Muslim and tries to comply with everything that is required. What can be done in this situation according to the canons of Islam?
It is necessary to gather close relatives (at least two, balanced and reasonable) from the husband and wife side and jointly discuss the future prospects of this young family. It will also be useful to invite the person loved by your husband in order to understand what the real reasons are for the lack of attention to your spouse. In short, it is important to clarify the situation rather than panic in ignorance and doubt. Be bold.
Muslim canons are not only patience, they are freedom for both men and women, they are prudence. Adulterers do not deserve the slightest respect, but due to the prevalence of sin, society has become accustomed to turning a blind eye to male adulterers, not noticing the baseness of their actions, although after such acts they cannot even be considered men; they can only wash public toilets for the rest of their lives, and for free. An adulterer buries his conscience deep in the dirt; perhaps only decades of righteous and respectful life towards his family members can wash it away.
It's amazing what kind of cowardly males began to appear! They, not daring to tell the truth in a timely manner, ruin the lives of innocent girls and put themselves and their relatives in a very unpleasant situation. How is this possible?!
I am Kazakh, married for three months. My wife is Korean. Our baby is due in six months. We live with our parents. The attitude of the parents towards the spouse is good, but the spouse always asks to move and live separately. I explained to her that, as the only working person in the family, it would be difficult for me to pay rent and provide for her and her child.
Recently she packed up all her things and went home, and set a condition: either we live separately from our parents, or she will live with her mother until I move away from my parents. After that, my parents' attitude towards her changed. They simply don’t want to see her at home. Mom advises me to get a divorce, I also agree, but I feel sorry for the child. Dear Shamil, please tell me, should I disobey my parents and live separately with her, doing this for the sake of the child, or should I still get a divorce? Nuriman, Kazakhstan.
Divorce only if your spouse asks for it; do not rush to break family ties yourself. Perhaps in the near future the circumstances, as well as the feelings and mentalities of the people around you, will change greatly. But you remember that initially you yourself must transform.
My wife and I have been married for a year and four months. A month ago, Allah gave us a son. On the ninth day after his birth, my wife and I quarreled. Her parents arrived and took away her wife and child. After that I saw my wife and child only once. Now her parents want to divorce us. They don't give me the opportunity to see my son. My parents asked and are asking for forgiveness from her family for the sake of our happiness. Uselessly. We tried everything. Ravil, Kazakhstan.
You should let the situation go and not disturb your wife or her relatives. Wait a pause until the spouse’s body returns to physical and psychological normalcy after childbirth. This may take a month or two. Work, read smart books, but don’t run after your wife like a child. I hope you haven't hit or abused her before. If not, then there is no need to harbor feelings of guilt in your soul. The fact that your parents apologized for the sake of saving the family is, I think, enough.
Hadith from Anas; St. X. at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and others. See, for example: as-Suyuty J. Al-jami' as-sagyr. P. 79, Hadith No. 1251, “Hasan”.
Hadith from Abu Hurayrah and others; St. X. at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Habbana and others. See, for example: at-Tirmidhi M. Sunan at-Tirmidhi. 2002. P. 361, hadith No. 1164, “hasan sahih”; as-Suyuty J. Al-jami' as-saghir. P. 89, Hadith No. 1441, “sahih”; ibid. S. 249, 250, hadiths No. 4100–4102, all “sahih”.
Hadith from Ibn ‘Amr; St. X. Ahmad, Muslim and an-Nasai. See, for example: as-Suyuty J. Al-jami' as-saghir. P. 260, Hadith No. 4279, “sahih”; an-Naysaburi M. Sahih Muslim [Code of Hadiths of Imam Muslim]. Riyadh: al-Afkar ad-Dawliyya, 1998. P. 585, Hadith No. 64–(1467); an-Nawawi Ya. Sahih Muslim bi sharkh an-Nawawi [Compendium of hadiths of Imam Muslim with comments by Imam an-Nawawi]. At 10 t., 18 p.m. Beirut: al-Kutub al-‘ilmiya, [b. G.]. T. 5. Part 10. P. 56, Hadith No. 64–(1467); an-Nasai A. Sunan [Compendium of Hadiths]. Riyadh: al-Afkar ad-Dawliyya, 1999. P. 342, hadith No. 3232, “sahih”.
Look at the section “Shamil Alyautdinov recommends” on our website, select at least five books from it and study them. You lack experience, and therefore if your awareness of life and attitude towards it remain at the same level, then you will suffer all your life, regardless of who is next to you.
“Good and bad are not the same. [These are different things. There can be no justification for evil. But if someone has shown it towards you, give yourself the opportunity to grow and develop, tune in properly internally, pacify your emotions and] respond [to the bad] with good (the best) [from the good that you have; answer with something that does not contain bitterness, callousness, rudeness, cruelty]. You will see how your [sworn, irreconcilable] enemy [who couldn’t stand you, suddenly after some time] turns into a close and sincere (bosom) friend [worried about you].
If anyone can achieve this level of relationship, then only those who are patient (hardy, persistent) [restrained, consistent, tactful] and are a truly strong personality (truly successful, lucky, happy) [successful in many ways , which is given to everyone, but few people realize it and rarely strive for it selflessly].
And if evil devilish speculations (thoughts, motives, urges) [offend someone, offend, respond to evil with “deserved” evil, because he is “jahil” (ignorant), “munafik” (hypocrite), “kaafir” (atheist) ] overwhelm you (overwhelm you, give you no rest), then resort to Allah (God, Lord) [praying with your heart for protection from satanic instructions]. He [the Creator], truly, hears everything and knows everything [and therefore will not allow the worms of satanic thinking to eat away your kindness, decency and prudence]” (Holy Quran, 41:34-36).
“O people, fear your Lord [by doing what He prescribed and avoiding what is clearly forbidden], Who created you from one soul [from one beginning] and from it a mate [the human race began, according to the will of the Most High, starting with the creation of Adam and Eve]. And from them (Adam and Eve) He scattered [across the earth] many men and women” (see Holy Quran, 4:1).
Hadith from Huzaifa; St. X. al-Barraza. See, for example: as-Suyuty J. Al-jami' as-saghir. P. 396, Hadith No. 6368, “Hasan”.
Hadith from Abu Hurayrah; St. X. Muslima. See, for example: an-Naysaburi M. Sahih Muslim [Code of Hadiths of Imam Muslim]. Riyadh: al-Afkar ad-Dawliyya, 1998. P. 1035, Hadith No. 32–(2564); Nuzha al-muttakyn. Sharh Riyadh al-Salihin [Walk of the Righteous. Commentary on the book “Gardens of the Well-Behaved”]. In 2 volumes. Beirut: ar-Risala, 2000. T. 1. P. 204, hadith No. 14/237.
You can talk some sense into a walking husband with prayers
Nowadays husbands are like that and strive to run away from their wives. If they miss them, they will spread their tail like a peacock and grab their suitcase. Or worse, they make themselves sweethearts.
Nowadays husbands are like that and strive to run away from their wives.And young women are now looking at other people’s husbands. Certainly! A free man needs to be caught and accustomed to family life.
And the man, cordial, rejoices. Like, wow, I still live with a young woman. Understanding his mistake will come to him much later.
And the wife raised the children on her own. And he has been living his own life for a long time.
And grieving wives are all the same. First he talks, then there are tears and threats, and then heavy artillery is used.So, of course, we need to save our family with all our might. And this places a heavy burden on a woman’s shoulders. It’s difficult because a man, having sensed the breeze of freedom, becomes deaf to all the arguments of reason.
And grieving wives are all the same. First he talks, then there are tears and threats, and then heavy artillery is used. This is what is closer to her. Magic or prayers to God.
Magic in inept hands is a terrible weapon. You can do such a thing that you won’t be able to fix it later. She will save her family and take away her health, or her husband will start drinking. And prayers to the Lord are a good thing.
Buy an icon of the Savior from the church, and every day before going to bed, or even more often, read this prayer.
First, repent of your sins:
“Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on me. Forgive me all my sins, voluntary and involuntary, known and unknown. Cleanse my mental and physical ailments, and guide me on the true path. Dry my tears and give me strength to survive all the sorrows that you have put in my path. Show me the path I need to take. I pray to you, Lord, grant me your help and protection. Amen." Now proceed to the main prayer:
“Lord, Heavenly King, Comforter, help me in a good cause, in the salvation of my family. Hear me, sinful and unworthy, praying to You at this hour. With tears in my eyes, I pray to You: bring some understanding to the servant of God (name), my husband. Gather the lost and guide them to the right path. Teach him to be a good and worthy husband to his wife.
Rely on His will, read a prayer for the preservation of your family, and know that no matter what happens, everything will be fine for you.Arouse in the heart of God’s servant (name) love for me, his wife, and show all the corruption of his deeds. Melt his coldness, resurrect his love. Don't let the family be destroyed, give us family good.
Lord, protect my husband from the devil’s temptation and sinful life. Especially autumn and protect the servant of God (name) from all misfortunes and crafty demons who want to sacrifice him and bring him to hell alive.
Instruct my husband to live according to Your covenants: to love his wife, take care of her and be responsible for her. Enlighten Your servant (name) to start all over again, to forget and forgive all offenses against me.
Lord, I pray to You with all my heart, do not let our family fall apart. Hold me and my husband together. Grant us love for each other, patience and strength to live together according to Your commandments. I trust in Your help, Lord. Amen. »
Pray more often, and with all your heart, and you will be heard. The Lord will help you through your prayer, and will save your family and enlighten your husband.
And sometimes it happens that the Lord admonishes the wife. And gives her the understanding that there will be no happiness with this person. And sends her a good husband in return.
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Dua to strengthen feelings between spouses
Allah Almighty ordered for His slaves to create families, give birth to children and live in peace and harmony. Therefore, by creating a family, a person finds his happiness. This gives our life a special meaning by the grace of Allah Almighty. Family is a gift from Allah Almighty, an amanat from our Lord, which we must preserve and protect from everything that could harm it. But not always and not everyone succeeds in maintaining relationships, and sometimes, without having time to get together, the new family begins to quarrel, sort things out - unpleasant situations arise that end in divorce.
The main reason for discord in the family is the weak iman of one or both spouses and non-compliance with the instructions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) when choosing a bride or groom.
This is stated in the hadith transmitted from Abu Huayra (may Allah be pleased with him) - the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لِأَرْبَعٍ: لِمَالِهَا، وَلِحَسَبِهَا، وَلِجَمَالِهَا، وَلِدِينِهَا، فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ
« A woman is married based on four qualities: her wealth, her nobility, her beauty and her religiosity. Choose your wife based on her religiosity " (Muslim)
In this hadith, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) does not talk about the desirability of paying attention to the wealth of a girl; the hadith implies something completely different. Imam An-Nawawi, commenting on this hadith in his book Sharh Al-Muslim, writes the following:
« The true meaning contained in this hadith is that when choosing a future wife, people pay attention to these four qualities, and religiosity comes last, so look for a religious bride. This hadith talks about the motivation to look for a religious girl...»
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) gives similar instructions when choosing a future husband. In a hadith also narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), it is reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
إِذَا أَتَاكُمْ مَنْ تَرْضَوْنَ خُلُقَهُ وَدِينَهُ فَزَوِّجُوهُ إِلَّا تَفْعَلُوا تَكُنْ فِتْنَةٌ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَفَسَادٌ عَرِيضٌ
« When people come to you for marriage, whose religiosity and character you are satisfied with, then marry them (your wards). If you do not do this, then temptation will appear on earth and immorality will become widespread. " (Ibn Majah", 1957)
In this hadith, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also strongly advises marrying daughters to religious young men of good character. The meaning of this saying comes down to the fact that if for various reasons you refuse worthy suitors and do not marry your daughters to them, then young people, not being able to get married, will fall into sin, and immorality will increase and spread in society.
However, these instructions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) are often not followed, which leads to a deterioration in the relationship between spouses. Relationships are constant work, including constant appeals to Allah Almighty with prayers and requests to strengthen feelings and send down happiness and mutual understanding in marriage.
In the collection of authentic hadiths of Imam Al-Bukhari, it is reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“When one of you gets married, let him say:
اللهم إنى أسألك خيرها وخير ما جبلتها عليه وأعوذ بك من شرها ومن شر ما جبلتها عليه
« Allahumma inni as'alyuka hairaha wa haira ma jabaltaha 'alaihi, wa a'uzu bika min sharriha wa sharri ma jabaltaha 'alaihi».
« O Allah, I ask You for all the good from her (wife) and all the good from her offspring. I also resort to Your protection from her evil and the evil of her descendants! ") (Bukhari, Abu Dawud).
Another version of this hadith, reported by Abu Dawud, adds:
« Then let him put his hand on her forehead and ask the Almighty for grace (barakah) "(Abu Dawud", 2162).
Khatib Ash-Shirbini in his book “Mughni al-Mukhtaj”, specifying this dua, writes: “It is advisable (sunnah) for the husband to put his hand on the bride’s forehead on the first night and say:
بارك الله لكل منا في صاحبه
« Baraka Allah li-kullin minna fi sahibihi».
« May Allah Almighty make each of us blessed for each other ».
Immediately before getting close, it is always advisable for the husband to read the following dua:
بِسْمِ اللهِ، اَللّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنا الشَّيْطانَ وَجَنِّبِ الشَّيْطانَ ما رَزَقْتَنا
« Bismillah, Allahumma jannibna shaytana wa jannibi shaytana ma razaktana».
« In the name of Allah! O Allah, take the devil away from us and take the devil away from what you have given us (that is, from the child with whom you will give us)».
Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
لوْ أَنَّ أَحَدَهُمْ إِذَا أَرَادَ أَنْ يَأْتِيَ أَهْلَهُ قَالَ بِاسْمِ اللَّهِ اللَّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ وَجَنِّبْ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنَا ، فَإِنَّهُ إِنْ يُقَدَّرْ بَيْنَهُمَا وَلَدٌ فِي ذَلِكَ لَمْ يَضُرَّهُ شَيْطَانٌ أَبَدًا
« If any of you says when he wants to have sexual intercourse with his wife: “In the name of Allah! O Allah, remove the shaitan from us and remove the shaitan from what you have endowed us with (that is, from the child with whom you will give us)” and if conception subsequently occurs, then, verily, the shaitan will never be able to harm the child " (Bukhari, 6388; Muslim, 1434)
It is reported from some righteous predecessors that if a person forgets to say this prayer, then the Shaitan will certainly harm the child, or the Shaitan will certainly participate with the husband in sexual intercourse. Therefore, you should always observe the recitation of this dua and be consistent in it.
Also, to strengthen feelings and harmony between spouses, it is advisable to read the dua, which is transmitted from the words of Ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with him); The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) taught him this supplication (du'a):
اللهم ألف بين قلوبنا ، وأصلح ذات بيننا ، واهدنا سبل السلام ونجنا من الظلمات إلى النور ، وجنبنا الفواحش ما ظهر منها وما بطن ، وبارك لنا في أسماعنا وأبصارنا وقلوبنا وأزواجنا وذرياتنا وتب علينا إنك أنت التواب الرحيم ، واجعلنا شاكرين لنعمتك ، مثنين بها وقابليها وأتمها علينا
« Allahumma allif bayna kulubina, wa aslih zata baynina, wa hdina subula s-salami, wa najjina mina z-zulumati ila n-nur, wa jjannibna l-fawahisha ma zahara minha wama batana, wa barik lyana fi asma'ina wa absarina wa kulubina wa azwajina wa zurriyatina. Wa tub ’alaina, innaka Anta T-tavvabu R-rahim. Wa j'alna shakirina li-ni'matika, musnina bi-ha wa kabiliha wa atimmaha 'alayna».
« O Allah, unite our hearts and make our relationship good. Lead us along the paths of peace and bring us out of darkness into light. They have kept us away from obscenities, both secret and overt. Bless our hearing and sight, our hearts, our wives and offspring, and accept our repentance. Verily, You are the Acceptor of repentance and the Merciful. Make us grateful for Your mercies, praising You for them and accepting them, and give them to us in full " (Abu Dawud 969, al-Hakim 1/397, Tabarani)
اللهم وفِّق بيني وبين زوجي ، واجمع بيننا على خير .. اللهم اجعلني قرة عين لزوجي واجعله قرة عين لي ، وأسعدنا مع بعضنا ، واجمع بيننا على خير .. اللهم اجعلني لزوجي كما يحب ، واجعله لي كما أحب ، واجعلنا لك كما تحب ، وارزقنا الذرية الصالحة كما نحب وكما تحب
« Allahumma waffik bayni wa bayna zawji, wa jma' baynana 'ala khair(in). Allahumma j'alni kurrata 'ainin li-zavji, waj'alhu kurrata 'ainin li, wa as'idna ma'a ba'zina, wa jma' baynana 'ala khairin. Allahumma j'alni li-zavji kama tuhibbu, wa j'alhu li kama uhibbu, wa j'alna laka kama tuhibbu. Wa rzukna z-zurriyata s-salihata kama nuhibbu wa kama tuhibbu».
« O Allah, bring peace and harmony between me and my wife (my husband) and unite us in good. O Allah, make me a joy to the eyes of my wife (my husband) and make her (him) the joy of my eyes. And grant us happiness in living together with each other and unite us in good things. O Allah, make me for my wife (husband) the way she (he) wants to see me and make her (him) for me the way I want to see her (him). Also make us for Yourself what You want us to be. And grant us good offspring, such as we desire and such as You desire. ».
If someone really wants to strengthen feelings between him and his wife (her husband), then he (she) will constantly ask Allah Almighty to strengthen feelings by reading the above and other duas and show sincerity and patience in this.
A strong prayer for the preservation of the family and the admonition of her husband to Peter and Fevronia
Every person experienced the fear of the destruction of family happiness. People care about marriage, cherish the idyll and understanding in it.
This especially frightens women. Sometimes, in the hope of admonishing her husband, a woman turns to the Almighty for help.
She knows that God will help and tell her what to do right, even if the marriage is on the verge of divorce. Ask for help from higher powers possible with the help of prayer spells.
Peter and Fevronia are saints, patrons of marriage and intercessors of love. During their lifetime, they loved each other very much and went through many trials. Saints help to pacify family scandals and restore fidelity and devotion to a couple.
Prayer plot for Peter and Fevronia so that the husband returns to the family: “Pleaser of the Almighty, Peter and Fevronia. Help me in my prayers to the Lord God.
The Almighty has blessed you for your strong Christian love, for your loyalty and devotion. You are the defenders of personal happiness and peace of mind.
Please teach me the value of love and harmony. I pray that you protect your family from demonic affairs and enemies. Let your names be glorified."
The plot is read both for yourself and for your spouse. If the husband is ready for reunion, then it is better to say prayer words together.
Table: prayer spells to save marriage
How to quickly return your husband to the family with prayers to the Most Holy Theotokos and Matrona of Moscow?
If a spouse decides to divorce and go to his rival, then it is worth offering prayers to Matronushka and the Mother of God. These saints help to discourage a loved one from his mistress, strengthen a marriage, and give comfort and understanding.
Prayer spells to protect the home and return the spouse:
- Prayer plot to Matrona of Moscow: “Mother Matrona, I ask for help.
Prayer for the return of the wife to the family
If the wife has fallen out of love, but the husband intends to return his beloved to the family, then you can use the following prayer spells to return the wife:
- « I communicate to you, Saints Cosmas and Damian, become my accomplices, accept the appeal for salvation. We are not worthy to kneel before you, but do not despise the prayers of sinners.”
- « Matronushka, pray for my beloved to return to me. Let her soul purify, become kinder and express a desire to live with me. Amen".
Marriage doesn't always end the way people expected at the beginning of the marriage. Often, in the process of living together, people move away from each other and forget their oaths of allegiance.
If a family is on the verge of divorce, do not despair. You need to try in every possible way to maintain the relationship and forgive your partner, even if he has committed adultery.
Life doesn't end with divorce. If you were unable to return your old feelings, then it is better to take the breakup calmly and remain friends.
This is especially true for couples who have a child together. For the sake of the child, you need to restrain your emotions, even if your soul manifests an acute negative attitude towards your ex-partner.
Prayers for well-being in the family and the world
This powerful prayer helps solve family troubles, protect spouses from sinful acts, and restore harmony in relationships.
Aviv Gury, Samon - Christian saints who experienced great torment during their lifetime for the good of faith. Prayer plot: “Holy martyrs Samon and Aviv Gury, accept the appeal to you in your repentance.
Forgive the sinner, help me resolve my issue and save my marriage. Soften your husband's heart, enlighten his mind and show him the true path to his native home. Do not leave me in sorrow, I ask you to teach me to live righteously.”